Compiled by Catriona Mitchell

 

 

 

“As a child, I was heavily poisoned” – John Doust, Australia (on being funny)

 

 

“If you try to be funny in every circumstance, you’re probably going to die a miserable death” – Morris Gleitzman, Australia

 

 

“I am but a worm” – Nury Vittachi, Sri Lanka

 

 

“There’s nothing more discriminated against in the world today than a sad penis.” – Clementine Ford, Australia (in the ‘second sex’ debate)

 

 

“When you don’t know what to do, follow a duck. Follow your inner duck” – Michael Leunig, Australia

 

 

“My work is work that does not need to be read. All that you need to know is what the concept is… frankly you don’t even need to read it.” – Angelo V. Suarez, Philippines

 

 

“I used to live halfway between a Chinese and an Indian restaurant” – Khairana Barokka, Indonesia (on why she doesn’t look Indonesian)

 

 

Comedians are “men whose mothers let them breastfeed a bit too long” – Tom Doig, New Zealand

 

 

Singapore is an intensive care unit, boring after 3 days” – Goenawan Mohamad, Indonesia

 

 

“British intelligence is a contradiction in terms” – Danny Morrison, Northern Ireland

 

 

Readers, please add your own if there are some we missed – there was a lot of hilarity at this year’s festival!